"I'm protecting my peace." If you are on TikTok, X or in a group chat with anyone under 28, you have probably heard it. It is the reason someone skipped a party, left a group chat, ignored a call or ended a friendship.

The phrase, recently the subject of The Star's Gen Z Corner column, has become a whole philosophy for many young Kenyans. But is it healthy self-care, or a polite way to avoid anything uncomfortable?

Why young people say it

Gen Z, born roughly between 1997 and 2012, has grown up online, under constant pressure to perform, compare and respond. Many young Kenyans are also dealing with unemployment, high living costs and family expectations. In that world, choosing what deserves your energy can feel like survival.

Used well, "protecting my peace" means healthy boundaries:

  • stepping away from friends or relationships that are draining or abusive
  • muting social media accounts that fuel anxiety or comparison
  • saying no to plans or spending you cannot afford
  • taking time off to rest instead of always being available

When it goes too far

The problem is that the phrase can also become a shield against any discomfort. Not every hard conversation is a threat to your peace. Disagreements with friends, honest feedback at work and difficult family talks are a normal part of life, and often how relationships grow.

Signs that "protecting your peace" may be turning into avoidance:

  • you cut people off instead of ever telling them what hurt you
  • you go silent rather than explaining yourself
  • you feel lonelier, not calmer, after pulling away
  • you use the phrase to dodge responsibility for your own mistakes

Finding the balance

Real peace usually comes from honesty, not just distance. Before you walk away, ask yourself: is this person or situation harming me, or just making me uncomfortable? If it is harm, a boundary is right. If it is discomfort, a conversation might be worth more than silence.

And if you feel constantly overwhelmed, anxious or low, talking to a trusted friend, a counsellor or a mental health professional can do more for your peace than any number of unfollows.